Sexual Anxiety

SEXUAL ANXIETY

What is Sex?

Sex is a topic bejeweled with much controversy. Its discourse is met with a variety of reactions from people. These reactions are a sum of the diverse values upheld by the concerned individuals. 😲

People have sex for a plethora of reasons. According to 'The top 20 reasons people have sex' by Kelli Miller (WebMD, 2012), people have sex for physical reasons such as pleasure and stress relief, goal-based reasons such as making a baby or improving social status, emotional reasons such as love, commitment or gratitude and insecurity-based reasons such as wanting to boost one's self-esteem. 👶

The fact that a person's psychological drives like pleasure and sex relief contribute to a person's attitude towards sex readily suggests a psychological component to sexual behavior. It is therefore not surprising that how we engage in sexual activities and how we view these activities affect as well as act as a representative of our mental health state. 😄

What is Sexual Anxiety?

• Sexual Anxiety is not an official medical term. According to healthline.com, sexual anxiety is a colloquial term used to describe fear or apprehension related to sex. 😟

• Fear of sex is a very common experience during adolescence. However, when it progresses beyond the age of adolescence, it is then Genophobia or Erotophobia. 😨

• Sexually anxious people, most of the time, are concerned with one of the following ideas when faced with decisions concerning sexual intimacy;
  

• Insecurity about how well they do in bed 😧

• What they may look like to their partners during the act 🤳

• Fear of the idea of being sexually intimate with someone else. 💏

How to Overcome Sexual Anxiety

• Sexual anxiety can be a very disabling condition if left untreated. 😔

• The ability to build a long-lasting, intimate relationship with another person may be significantly hampered. 💔

• This may lead to feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, and loss which are properties of depression.🙁

• In order to live a sexually (and non-sexually) fulfilling life, there are ways to help combat sexual anxiety:
  

1. Accept one's self-image.

• The way we see ourselves is a very important factor in how we relate to other people. 😎

• If a person feels insecure about how he/she looks, such a person might have a hard time believing that their partner finds them attractive, giving rise to sexual tension in such a relationship. This is not a conducive atmosphere at all. 🙍
  

So how can we accept our self-image?.

• According to sex educator Emily Nagoski, one should take active steps in getting comfortable in one's skin by repeatedly acknowledging everything one likes about their body. 🙎

• One way to achieve this, she says, is to stand in front of a mirror as naked as one can tolerate, look at what one sees there and write down what one likes. 🪞

• When repeatedly done this way, it becomes easy to appreciate one's body for its unique beauty. This is a positive step in combating sexual anxiety. 😀

2. Learn more about sex.

• This might be a step you are not willing to hear about but is nonetheless essential. 🙉

• For instance, If you were to write a calculus test without ever studying calculus, you would inevitably be very anxious in the test hall about taking the test. 👨🏽‍🎓

• It is the same for Sexual intimacy. Appropriate sex education - not necessarily knowing about the nuances of sexual intercourse from every adult film ever made - is crucial to overcoming sexual anxiety. 📚

• Uncertainties about techniques of giving or receiving pleasure, about how one's body is supposed to react during sex, or perhaps myths about pregnancy could all be addressed by speaking to a healthcare professional for reassurance, reading one or two books exploring the topic, or joining sex education workshops. 👨‍⚕️

• Knowledge is power and in this case, power to overcome sexual anxiety. 💪

3. Learn to openly communicate.

• Sexual intercourse is a form of social interaction as is verbal communication. 💬

• Open communication may just be the best way forward. If you are concerned about not being able to give adequate pleasure to your partner or not being able to get aroused, disclosure to your partner could go a long way in easing sexual tensions. 🗣

• Anyone experiencing sexual anxiety should learn to embrace the fact that "they are not a disappointment" and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how they are feeling. 🫂

Thus, always remember to leverage the power of that moment of bonding - with your spouse - to acknowledge that your spouse accepts your presence and your sexual wants and that they want you to feel at peace with them. ❤️

By
ABIMBOLA AYODEJI

I-Medics Ambassador